Maestro Fresh Wes - Hip-Hop meets Mints

To the answer of do all Canadiens have to love hockey we present Evidence Item 43325: Maestro Fresh Wes, the so called "Godfather of Canadian Rap" and his 1994 song "Certs Without Da Retsyn"

Complete with a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey:

Gotta love the weird racial analogies:

"Exciting niggas like Italians at a Rocky©  flick"

"I'll even make a spanish brother say 'no mass (más)'"

There's even a reference to his willingness to eat girls out,

"I'll get down and dirty baby, but take a shower first"

First translating Maestro Fresh Wes song titles contest:

Question: Certs Without Da Retsyn actually means... 

A) Search without direction

B) Certainty without the reason

or...

C) Certs (the breath-mint) without the Retsyn (a combination of cooper gluconate and partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil, an active ingredient in Certs mints)

So...we learned that song titles that may at first appear to be gibberish, or at least slang which we don't know, is often merely referring to a refreshing mint, and the unfortunate possibility of its most important odor-fighting ingredient missing.

Honestly though, how have gum and mint commercials been overlooked for their role in bringing sex into the family living room.  Don't believe me...just look at these ads:

And in this one they're even speaking Spanish...what kind of immoral liberal agenda let this happen

 

And old people having sex .... gross

And now Dentyne has launched an ad campaign on the subways of New York instructing its audeince to "Make Face Time".  

The series basically contrasts interpersonal face-to-face modes of interaction with their internet equivalencies.  I'm all for the idea of getting away from the internet and the computer (ironic that I say that as I write my first blog entry), but I sure do like the online world better than the corporate one of consumer culture.

The TV commercial in the ad campaign is so concerned with lifestyle branding Dentyne that there isn't a single individual chewing gum.  Hell if you lead these people's lives you don't even need gum ... but since you don't you can just chew our gum.

Of all the commercial products to market using lifestyle branding (more on this later) why is it so common in gum/mint ads.  What do the marketers think goes through a person's head that convinces them to chew gum... "if I chew this shit I'm definitely gonna get laid to night"... it probably goes more like this, "damn I haven't brushed my teeth for days, maybe I should do that before I go out...fuck it I'll just chew some gum".

Classic Material indeed.